When Your Dream Job Is Not So Dreamy
Updated: Nov 18, 2019
For many, being a stay at home mom is their dream job. For others, they know their calling is a working mom. Well, I’ve been both, and both staying at home and working have their pros and cons. I am currently “living the dream” and staying at home. Often, the dream job is not so dreamy… much like parenthood in general. Some days it’s rainbows and ice cream, yet other days it’s diaper explosions, inconsolable toddlers, and sassy six-year-olds. I have three children ages 1, 4, and 6.
My days mostly consist of school drop off and pick up, nap times, meal times, homework, bath time, cleaning and trying to squeeze in fun time for the kids, all while hoping for some mama time (usually in the form of sitting down for a meal, exercise, a shower or bath, or on a good day… a nap). I know I stress myself out with trying to keep the house mostly presentable and clean, but that’s the way I have to be in order to not stress even more. I typically clean during nap time(s) because let’s face it… when they are all home I am just trying to keep them all alive, fed, and prevent any injuries. Yet, as soon as the kids are up or home all my cleaning and hard work is mostly undone. The sink constantly refills itself with bottles, bowls, spoons, cups, and other dishes. The toys always end up all over the floor, and laundry for 5 people is insane... especially when my two girls think they have to wear 3 or more outfits a day (this was a daily battle this summer). Being a mom is hard; being a parent is hard; being a stay at home mom is hard. If you don’t agree, please please share your secret! Being a stay at home mom is tiring and exhausting physically and mentally. Being a stay at home mom is lonely. Sure, I’m never ALONE, but my daily human interaction is with a 1-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a 6-year-old.
My saving grace is my “tribe” as most people call it. My husband is my biggest supporter and chief of my tribe. He is the one that hears my rants and struggles on the daily, and he, unfortunately, gets the brunt of my frustrations. Yet, he loves me fiercely and will do anything to make my life easier or make me happier when I am down.
My mom is my biggest source of wisdom and understanding because she’s “been there”. I talk to her almost daily.
My siblings are often my crutch, my ear to talk to, or my shoulder to cry on when I need it.
I have 4 best friends that I’ve had for many many years; they knew me prior to having kids, they know all about my family (parents and siblings- because let’s face it those relationships have stresses as well), they’ve been there for all major life events, and I know I can call them for anything and they will be there for me in a heartbeat. We don’t live close, and we don’t see each other that often, but they love me and my kids fiercely and they always seem to know just when I need a phone call, a funny meme, a visit, or Girls Night Out.
Since I’ve become a stay at home mom, I recently joined another “tribe”. I used to call them my gym friends because we met through the gym. We now all live within 2 miles of each other and my husband and I always joke that we’re “Wisteria Lane” from Desperate Housewives. Most mamas in this group are stay at home moms, our kids all go to the same school, and our kids are around the same age. God knew I needed this group. We text daily: we send each other reminders; we share funny stories; we share funny pictures and videos of our kids; we send each other “mom life” memes or gifs; we share recipes; we plan playdates. But most of all: we are there for each other. We pray for each other. We share our struggles with each other and lift each other up. These girls are always there when I need them… which is a LOT. Sometimes I physically need their help: watch my child, take my child to school, can I have some flour because I ran out, swapping maternity clothes or hand me downs; but mostly, I need them for my sanity. Their texts, calls, and impromptu playdates help me feel less lonely and I feel like they are helping me keep my identity as “Rebecca” instead of just “mama”.
Being a mom is hard, but finding your “tribe” makes daily life a little easier, especially on the hard days. I am very blessed and thankful I get to stay at home and “live the dream” even if it’s not so dreamy every day. So, my advice to stay at home moms, or all mamas for that matter: find your tribe and love them fiercely and PRAY: pray during the hard times, pray during the happy times, pray for your children and family, pray for your friends, and pray for yourself. God will never give you more than you can handle, even if it sometimes feels like you are drowning. At least, that’s the way I see it.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”