Shy Southerner Takes on Marathon Barbie
Updated: Oct 9, 2019
Just in case you missed the last couple of post, I'm sharing how I almost missed my opportunity to become Mrs. Hastings!
Shy Southerner Takes on Marathon Barbie
I spend quite a bit of time licking my wounds from the catastrophe that was last Saturday night.
After I wallow in self-pity for being a day late and dollar short in the love department, I pick myself up and focus on the task at hand. Winning! So, there is a very attractive girl throwing herself at Stewart... Maybe he likes the kind of girl who offers more of a challenge. Maybe he is more into reserved southern girls, like me. At least I hope that is the case.
The air is crisp and game day is upon us. I had been looking forward to the game all week. Stewart mentioned earlier in the week for me to come and hang out with his friend from college and watch the game with them.
Right before kickoff, I’m sitting under the tree flipping through a magazine, Brian and Stewart are tossing the football, and here comes Amanda jogging up looking fabulous in her spandex running gear.
One of my friends has a saying, “Spandex isn’t for everyone!” Well, that maybe true, but spandex was made for Amanda. I’m totally against comparing yourself to other women because we are all different, but I’m in the fight of my life here and when marathon Barbie runs around the sidewalk with her long blonde ponytail swinging behind her, it is hard not to compare yourself. I suppose, if I looked that good all out of breath and slightly sweaty, I would run by too and hope Stewart would see me.
Score another point for Amanda.
The jealousy lies in my stomach like a heavy rock. I’m tethered to my chair and my brain screams...do something, don’t just sit there. Lucky for me Brian throws the football close to me and they all congregate around my chair. The conversation moves toward plans and I don’t like where it is heading. Amanda is crashing game day with Stewart.
Brian says, “Why don’t you come watch the game with us?”
“I don’t like football, but I will come over and hang out later tonight after the game.” She says as she is stretching her legs and sticking her tush high in the air.
Please, this girl is killing me. She’s practically throwing herself at Stewart.
Later that night…
The thorn in my side arrives all showered and surprisingly spandex free. She announces she wants to watch a movie. This was back in the day when you could go to an actual store and rent a movie.
“Why don’t you two ladies go to Blockbuster and pick out a movie?” Stewart suggests.
This is going all wrong. It sorts of feels like a double date and I’m being pushed off on Stewart’s friend.
Amanda looks at me, “I’ll drive, come on.”
This day just keeps getting worse. I grab my purse and enter the most awkward situation ever. My proper girl raising requires I try and make small talk.
“Where did you grow up?”
“Outside Texas...What about you?”
Our conversation floats back and forth for a minute like a balloon as it slowly rises toward the sky. When Amanda abruptly says, “So, tell me, when did you realize you liked Stewart?” She threw this question out there like it was the most natural thing in the world for us to discuss. I feel as though someone grabbed a needle and popped the normal conversation balloon. When the balloon popped, the air in the car felt thick. Her directness was suffocating me. I pull at the collar on my shirt and wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans. I fight the sudden urge to roll down the window. I want out of this car, now!
She fills my stunned silence with a long soliloquy about how it didn’t take her long to realize she liked him. All the while she is talking she has a Mary Poppins like tone to her voice as if she is talking about flying kites instead of my precious private feelings. She continues to talk about all of Stewart’s great qualities and infers how stupid I am for not noticing them as fast as she did. I'm beginning to wondering if I'm experiencing the onset of a panic attack or is this just a normal case of plain old fashion discomfort? Amanda doesn’t seem to notice the awkwardness of this conversation. She just keeps talking as if it is completely normal for us to be talking about Stewart and our feelings for him.
Somehow I survive the Blockbuster trip and the ride back to Stewart’s apartment. She rattles on the whole way back and we walk into Stewart’s apartment with our movie choice, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn’s The Breakup. I walk in relieved to be in the presence of other people as I try to recover from my time alone with marathon Barbie. She scares me!
Amanda somehow manages to get Stewart on the love seat and I’m stuck on the other couch with his friend Brian. The movie is a blur! All I can think of is her snuggling under the blanket with Stewart, while I am moving Brian’s hand every time he tries to put it on my leg.
When the movie is over, I walk around the building to my apartment feeling like that popped balloon. The hope has drained out of me during the course of my night. I’m listening to all the negative talk inside my head when the positive girl I love tries to push through to me. Maybe Amanda sees you as a big threat and that is why she is coming on so strong?
Maybe she wanted to see just how interested in Stewart you are?
I fumble with my keys and as I open the door, I open my heart for another battle. I will see this to the bitter end, but I don't want to go it alone. I pray, "God, if he is the one for me, I could use a little help here. I give this to you, Lord. If he isn't the one for me, then I pray he will chose her."
Who's Chasing Who?