You Like Him!!!
Updated: Oct 9, 2019
Life doesn’t always go according to the path you have set for yourself. Sometimes God has other plans! Sometimes the rug gets pulled out from under you and suddenly you find yourself going in a completely different direction. Maybe you are walking down a road you didn’t choose, maybe you are constantly looking over your shoulder wishing you picked a different path, or maybe you look at your friends to the right and want to hop on their path. Whatever your path, God is in charge and he is the master path weaver. You may think there is no way out of the desert stretch, but he has ways of maneuvering you through, giving you just enough water so you enter your next path stronger.
There was a time when any and all things falling in the love department category made want to gag, I told God, if you want me to be a mother (which was the strongest desire of my heart) you will need to bring someone to my front door because I’m done! I’m not looking for anyone! I have some serious trust issues and at this point, I only want the children a man can give me!
It's a Love Story, Baby Just Say "Yes"
“You like him!” Kylee sings into the phone.
“No, I do not! We are just friends and I repeat...just friends.” Even though Kylee can’t see me, I try to control my body language and act all nonchalant and cool.
“Methinks, you protest too much!”
“You can say whatever you want to, but we are just friends!” I say louder than I mean to.
“Oh! Sure, okay”. Kylee replies. And we are off to the next topic like girls do when they get a few minutes to catch-up. Jonas, Kylee’s baby, is only a few months old and our gab-time has been drastically reduced.
I can tell she doesn’t believe me and even though the topic has passed, it lingers in my mind like an annoying blueberry seed stuck in your teeth. I’m aggravated. I can’t quite put my finger on it. We say our goodbyes and I head to bed climbing the steps of the beautiful Crown Mill Loft Apartments, I’ve come to call home since my life took an unexpected change. I had rather hoped I would be putting my first child to bed as I suspect Kylee was doing at that very moment, instead, I’m starting over, future unknown. I climb the steps admiring the hundred-year-old wood floor and feel anticipation mixed with terror because for the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan, I don’t know what my future holds at the top. It is wide open. I rub my hand over the faded banister as the uneasiness settles over me. With each step, I pray, give me what I need, not what I think I want.
Bits of Kylee’s voice lingers in my mind. Our conversation plays on repeat while sleep evades me. “You like him! Well, you sure are spending a lot of time with him. Every time we talk these days, you have been somewhere with him. You play golf, you shop together, he goes to church with you…”
Well, she doesn’t know what she is talking about. I try and convince myself, she doesn’t know what it is like to be single. You need friends to help pass the time. We are just friends.
One week later…
There are moments when you are driving along singing with the radio not really listening to the words and then there are those moments, when a line will stop you in your tracks. I turn onto Chattanooga Ave as Jennifer Knittle's sings… "The whole world could change in a minute, just one kiss could stop it spinning. We could think it through, but I don’t want to. We could keep things just the same, leave here the way we came with nothing to lose, But I don’t want to if you don’t want to…"
There is suddenly a vision dancing in my head of Stewart leaning in to kiss me...what would it be like if Stewart kissed me?
What? Where did that thought come from? I push it away. It comes back. I start talking to the thought. “You know we are just friends and a kiss might ruin things.” Suddenly Kylee’s words echo in my mind and I feel a little like Peter when he heard the rooster crow. Kylee’s words ricochet through Mini Mae, my mini cooper, you like him!
The song ends as I pull into the designated car washing area. What just happened? I’m in a daze of sorts...I don’t even remember getting out the hose or even turning on the water. I’m washing Mini Mae, when who should walk out his front door but... Stewart! He struts over and in one swoop swipes the hose out of my hand and begins washing my car for me. Can he read my mind, does he know, what I’ve been thinking? It is like I'm seeing him for the first time. He really is cute and he is scrubbing my tires. I feel off. I turn into nerdy Jennifer and I hate her! She fumbles over her words and is socially awkward.
I can't even put together a coherent sentence. Conversation usually flows so easy between us. I am jumpy. I feel like Cher in Clueless when she is walking around the water fountain and it hits her, she likes Josh! I like Stewart!
He is drying Mini Mae and the words of the song are in my head messing with me. He is always there if I need him, he hangs on my every word, and he always seems to be paying attention to me. I like Stewart!
Now, what in the world am I going to do about it???
To be Continued…
Part Two: Game Plan