Marriage Challenge #2: Treat your husband like your best girlfriend!
Updated: Oct 9, 2019
We have all heard of the golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Lately, I’m trying a slightly different version of this rule. Treat your husband like you would treat your best girlfriend.
I’ve come to realize, I’m a way better best friend than I am a wife. I’ve been experimenting with this new rule since this summer. When I remember my new rule and act on it, I am amazed at the results.
Here are my findings:
The amount of arguing over stupid stuff goes way down!
I don’t know if you are like me, but I’m sure there is something your husband does that can really set you off. I can get very frustrated when my husband consistently comes home late from work. If he has a late week at work, and I get the third phone call of the week saying he will be late, I start to lose it. I start stewing on how I feel and then assigning motivation to him that is totally unfair. So by the time he gets home, I’m exhibiting some good old fashion toddler behavior or I remove myself and give him the cold shoulder. I’m not proud of it, and this would usually result in a not so nice exchange between us.
This one particular night when he called saying he was going to be late and to go ahead and eat without him, I heard the exhaustion in his voice. There was something in the tone of his voice, that made me stop my usual pattern of behavior. I decided this would be a perfect time to try out my new experiment. If one of my girlfriends told me they were going to be late, I would be sympathetic to the “why” behind their late! Not even thinking about the inconvenience their lateness caused me. I would forgive it instantly. I let go of the fact that I really could have used another adult in the house when I was doing homework with Caroline and Carter dumped every block he owned over the railing of the stairs.
When Stewart walks through the door, I get up step over blocks and greeted him at the door. As hard as it was, I forced the words, I’m sorry you
had a late day at work. The strangest thing happened. Stewart began to open up and TALK to me about some work frustrations and get this...we connected! God is trying to teach me to give up my childish ways and don’t let the small irritations of life come in between you and your most important relationships.
2) Quit serving leftovers and everyone is happier!
I’ve always hated the fact that I feel like the best part of my day is spent at work. When I get home, I’m running on fumes. This is a struggle for me. I manage to be on my “A” game all day. When I get home, Stewart gets my leftover patience, kindness, and overall likability. I think this is one of those ugly little human habits we all have: We take out our frustrations on the ones we love the most.
I was being less than delightful one night when a good friend called me. When I answered the phone, I became a much better version of myself. Stewart even raised his eyebrow at me as if to say who are you? And where have you been?
If I can muster up a personality to talk to my friend when I'm tired, then I should do the same with my man. I hate getting life backward, but that is exactly what I do. I’m making more of an effort to give my husband my best self. Life is full of contradictions and it takes some real effort to decide to change our behavior. Recognizing the pattern is the hard part. You can change your attitude though when you predetermine how you want to be. Realizing your husband is a gift and that he is actually really your best friend, makes it easier to offer grace and love at least, that is the way I see it.
Check out our other post on marriage.